Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Nothing But Nostalgia: Shando's "Jailbreakers"

...And now I'd like to introduce you all to a little segment where I focus on something pop culture that was probably once forgotten. Maybe it's kitsch, maybe it's neon, and maybe your grandma loved it. With this 'Nothing but Nostalgia' section, whatever this media gem is, can now live upon this blog with a fresh soul.

What would be more appropriate on this day full of Shando? I mean, she's on the 90210 finale, and I watch this TV(?) movie Jailbreakers she stars in, and then what...she's on Extra talking about how she spotted Simon Cowell at a restaurant (most likely Nobu) and wanted him to say something bad about her outfit, but he ignored her. But today, we focus on Jailbreakers.

(Hey It's Available on VHS too -- No Excuses!!)

This 1994, hour-and-sixteen-minute, thriller that seems to be made for television but riddled with sex and "fucks", I can honestly tell you I have no idea what audience this was made for. The cast is kind of ridic though: Shando, Adrien Brody, Antonio Sabato Jr. The plot? Angel (Doherty) is a cheerleader who falls for a 'rebel', they get in trouble, and Shando's life is in shambles.

Here's the plot in case you, for some crazy reason, cannot afford to rent this lost classic.

Angel, cheer captain, falls for Tony, pot dealing rebel --> Apparently it's the 1950s, but I just thought it was bad MidWest 90s' fashion --> Angel hooks up with him, and like doesn't want to screw him till shes 16 --> they rob a diner, and then whilst being chased by cops Tony eats Angel out as she mans the wheel --> they go to jail, but she gets out cuz she was under a bad influence --> she loses her part in the school play because like she's busy the last two weeks dating this guy, so her family moves to a new home and school where she dates the track star --> but then with the help of Adrien Brody, she connects with Tony in jail who thinks she is two-timing him --> he like gets out of jail and they runaway to Mexico? --> then Tony gets shot up, and like Shando does not give a shit and tries to date his friend (Brody), which fails for some reason --> and then her parents decide it's time to move again.

Here's the classy scene where Antonio Sabato Jr. has a box lunch at Shando's Y (ffwd to 1:27).



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