Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Belles Are Ringing Down South

And so are a lot of other things ;-). So really, I've got like all sorts of boners for the drama of the Southern Belles: Louisville SoapNet's new reality show that airs Thursdays at 10PM/9C.

OMG. Floral Swing.

The premiere, which hit May 21st, introduced the five young women of this prosperous niche of the Kentucky city. Oddly enough, the only person who actually has that charming Southern accent is that of the narrator, and no...it isn't Kristen Bell (haha, get it?). Collectively, in this episode the Belles had some charity that flopped royally. So the drama isn't really that intense, yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to get my hopes up that high, but what I did find intriguing is the similar chords these southern women strike with a 21-year-old male. Including having a name (let's go with Bri, okay) that ends in a vowel.

EMILY - Heiress to the million-making manufacturing factory of some sort. Except, she'd rather change her hair constantly and seek fame as a newscaster...smells like To Die For. But we all want fame, and we all want to disobey our Christian upbringing...and be rich while doing it. So God Speed little Emily.

HADLEY - Never had any money. But she is working as an assistant to a film producer, which I guess can happen in Louisville? I like that she shops on the sales rack. She's probably the hottest. And well, based on her lame best friend that confessed his love to her in a corn field, the gays love her. Why did SoapNet decide to post this crazy-face picture of her on their website???

JULIE - Being the only black girl, and a sinking high fashion model life isn't all horses and apple pies for this Belle. But it's cool, she's actually the most debonair of the bunch. I'm wondering if she actually hangs out with these women?

KELLIE - She's poor now. But she did marry rich once upon a time, and that's a girl I can be proud of.

And then there's
Shea. But I don't like her. She's fat. Ugly Hair. And her like 'boyfriend' or whatever needs to grow a pair. Or sleep with Hadley. I'll make her picture small, because I don't feel our readers need to stare at her fug face.



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